Commitment aka I got my first tattoo

Commitment. If you’re like me, a shiver just went down your back. Whether you’re making dinner plans or marriage vows, why is it so hard to commit to things?

For me, I have to be sure. I have to know it’s going to be worth it before I commit to anything. As someone who’s scared of commitment, I made a big leap of faith recently. I got my first tattoo. Right before my birthday in May, an image appeared to me: a microphone that turns into a pencil at the bottom. I thought it represented me perfectly as a singer and a writer—my two greatest passions as one. When I was 100 percent committed, a peaceful feeling washed over me.

And now this tattoo is a part of me—forever. I’m committed to it.

Did I just commit to something for life?

Yes, yes, I did.

When I look at my spiritual journey with God, I realize how He has challenged me to commit myself to Him. Even though I grew up in the church and believed in God and His Word, I still felt distant from Him. It wasn’t until I made the commitment to move from Michigan to California in 2009 that I grew closer to God.

It’s true that He meets you in the desert. I struggled the first few years in California, financially, spiritually, and from broken relationships. I admit I was getting used to being on my knees in prayer asking God for help. And you know what? I heard His voice and His request was simple: “Commit yourself to me.”

I connected with Mariners Church in 2010 and plugged into Rooted a year later, where I committed myself to 10 weeks of spiritual growth. During my five years of attending Mariners, I made several other commitments: volunteering in Port Mariners, singing in Easter and Christmas choir, leading a Rooted group, serving in the storytelling ministry, traveling to Mexico to build homes for families, attending life group meetings…and most importantly, going on a faith adventure trip to Haiti.

Haiti was the turning point in my spiritual journey with God. It was January 2012 when God called me to serve in the Haiti ministry. I heard His voice say, “Go to Haiti.” But I fought back. I didn’t want to commit. Other voices clouded my mind: “What difference can I make in Haiti? I don’t have the finances to travel. What about my job? Can I really afford to take that much time off work? Is it safe to travel in Haiti? How can I commit to such a large project? ” But God’s voice remained the loudest: “Commit yourself to me.”

This commitment meant I was committing myself to my team, to raising a few thousand dollars in funds, to renewing my passport, to visiting my doctor in order to receive the necessary medical shots, to updating the faith adventure blog while in Haiti—and the scariest part, to opening my heart and being a servant of God.

And because I trusted in Him, I decided to surrender and just obey and listen. When I was 100 percent committed, a peaceful feeling washed over me. (Are you sensing a theme here?)

Before I even applied for the trip, God brought people and events to me as encouraging signs that going to Haiti was a part of His plan for me—especially at the Mariners DREAM event, where I finally put it down on paper that my dream was to go to Haiti.

It was amazing how God provided, calming my fears and doubts. By the time I left for Haiti that September, He had silenced my strongholds. Haiti allowed me to talk to family and friends about why I was going on this trip; it opened up conversations I never would have had in the first place. God humbled me before I even left, and when I returned home a transformed Christ follower, it was the closest I felt to Him.

God continues to challenge me to commit to Him, from my giving and serving to how I live my life outside of church. In the past I may have felt distant from God, but now more than ever, I feel connected to Him.

Just this year alone, I heard His voice tell me to commit to the new vocal community and story team at Mariners—and I did not hesitate. I look back at how God has been preparing me to be a faithful servant, how He has taken my two greatest passions and turned them into His assets.

So, not only is my tattoo a symbol of my identity; it’s a symbol of my commitment to using the gifts and talents God has blessed me with in order to do His good work. It may have taken me awhile to understand what it was like to commit myself to God, but now I have a permanent reminder on my physical body that I also belong to the body of Christ.

Commitment. If you’re like me, a shiver just went down your back. Be still, listen, surrender, and know it may be God whispering to you.

I know it was for me; and when I ask myself, “Did I just commit to something for life?” The answer is, “Yes, yes, I did.”